Keanes Pub

Keanes Pub
Location	Maam, Connemara
Built	1820 by Alexander Nimmo
Owner	Keane Family
Rating	Fierce craic altogether
Website	keanesbarmaambridge.com

Keane's Pub (known locally by some as the Centre of the Universe), is the ancestral home of the club, situated in Maam, Connemara. It was built in 1820 by Scottish engineer Alexander Nimmo. It is the traditional stopping point after all club hikes and is a second home to many club members.

History

The pub is one of the oldest licensed premises in Ireland, it was build in 1820 by Alexander Nimmo as his main residence while he designed the roads and bridges of Connemara. Throughout the building's history it has also served as a small hotel and inn for those travelling through the rugged hills of Connemara and the Joyce Country.

The building was purchased by the Keane family in 1969 and has been ran as a pub ever since, alongside the hardware store and shop next door.

The pub has a long history of hosting many famous people over the years, Padraic Pearse, John Wayne and many more. The Quiet Man warp party was held here in 1952

More history can be found on the official Keane's Pub website.

Club and Keane's Relations

The club have been regulars at the pub for as long as anyone can remember, it is ideally located as a stopping point on the way home from many hikes in Connemara. During the semester a quiet wet sunday evening in Maam is suddenly engulfed by 50 wet, sweaty, muddy, hikers .

In recent years the pub is called prior to arrival to arrange the preorder of pints and toasties as otherwise the bar staff can be quickly overwhelmed by the sheer quantity of orders they get.

            “How many pints did they say again?? 20 pints of Guinness was it?? lord Jesus” - Mary in Keanes

The pub has graciously hosted the club's christmas party for the last few years. It is a night of revelry and shenanigans where the usual hiking bus is filled and skips the hiking to just go to the pub. The pub usually offers the party goers some finger food such as cocktail sausages, chicken goujons and for the vegetarians... sliced cheddar cheese. Surprisingly these nights are not the rowdiest of nights in Keane's, with tales from parties where furnishings are pulled off the wall, all manner of substances are consumed, and even someone reaching into the toilet cubicle while a club member was pooping and crushed the light bulb in their hand.

There are many other traditions surround the club's weekly pilgrimage such as "mud or blood" a scheme that is the brain child of Joe Mee. The concept is that anyone who gets mud or blood on their face after falling on a hike is owed a pint from Joe or in his absence a senior hike leader.

The preregistration for the Maamturks Challenge is held upstairs in the pub, allowing walkers to collect their walk cards the night before the challenge speeding up the process in the morning. The set up is the most efficient procedure in the world and is studied as an example of Lean Thinking all over the world.

Members of the club often use the area of grass below the bridge as a camp ground during training weekends and adventures in connemara. It is ideal with the pub offering warmth and refreshments into the night before retiring to bed. In extreme weather the option of staying in Dónal's (Pat's brother) house/bachelor pad.

Features of the Pub

One of the most important features of the pub is the fireplace, it is perfect for sitting next to after a long day on the hills. The two large leather chairs are reserved for the club's hairiest members.

The upstairs used to be a tea room before the passing of Pat's mother. It boasts one of the finest views of any building on earth.

The TV room, through the right door in the back room, contains, as one would expect, a TV, alongside some couches. Many a club presentation has occurred in this room.

The entire back room can be converted to a disco with large booming speakers, smoke machines and flashing lights, this conversion usually occurs during birthdays being held at the establishment, such as Pat's son's 18th and 21st. This transformation was discovered in 2023 thanks to a group tired MS2 attendees stumbling upon the "nightclub" hoping for a quiet evening in Keanes. They received the opposite of this.

Since the infamous 18th these transformations have included the removal of all picture frames, candles, mirrors, decorative plates, lamps, post cards etc from the walls and shelves to prevent their damage during the carnage.

Beverages

Many forms of liquid are consumed at Keane's, and here is a list of the most popular!

Guinness

A non-too-suprising favourite of the Keane's patrons and club members alike, Guinness, by any metric, is the no.1 beverage of choice for post-Sunday hike goers. It's drank both as a fitting end of wet hikes, dry hikes, hot hikes, cold hikes, shite hikes, class hikes, no hikes, etc. and as an attempt at cultural assimilation by the Erasmus students. Despite price hikes nationally in recent years, the Keane's price remains somewhat "competitive" for the city-dwelling club members.

The drink can be augmented into the True Creamer for further flavour, and it was in fact in Keane's that this was first done.

Orchard Thieves

The softer option.

Pint of Water

The ultimate drink really, when you think about it. It's free and it comes with ice (which is even more water for you). Studies show people think that people who drink water in pint glasses are really attractive and cool.

Pint of MiWadi

The pint of MiWadi exists for two kinds of people in this world; those who have not reached the medatitive mind-state of being able to savour a pint of pure water and desperately cling to the materialistic concept of flavour. Secondly it's for people who've let their bloodsugars drop on a hike and are making sure they get those levels right back up :)

Pot of Tea

"Ah go on"

Hot Chocolate

Hot chocolates are most often ordered by the Erasmus students after a long wet miserable hike. Owing to their complicated production process (i.e. not pulling a tap), the staff at Keane's have been known to justifiably get fed up of making them after the tenth order. While never going as far as saying "fuck off", one might tell that's the vibe.

Bailey's Hot Chocolate

For those looking to make their hot chocolate more "spicy", an auld dash of the country cream will do it. Tasty but the cost would put most people off.

Hot Whiskey

Another in the hot beverage series, the Hot Whiskey has recently surpassed the hot chocolate in wet weather sales (based on nothing but one casual observation from the writer). It's truly a soul warmer.

Jägerbomb

Some might be suprised by the addition of the Jägerbomb to this list, but attend one UGMC Xmas Party and you will be suprised no longer. Its Redbull content has been known to "extend the night".

Baby Guinness

Another popular shot for those celebrating the christmas cheer at Keane's.