The Clubhouse

The Clubhouse is a residential building located in the ████████ Estate. It is within walking distance of The Climbing Wall, this however is often disputed among members of the club. As of the 25/26 academic year, it serves as the primary social outlet of the club, one of the three pillars of our community.

History

The precise origins of the Clubhouse name are unclear. Records show it has been in the hands of the club for a few years.

The Residence

The structure consists of:

• Five bedrooms
• A kitchen that has never fully recovered from ████████████████
• Two bathrooms (A downstairs toilet and The ██████'s playroom)
• A living room that is dominated by two sofas that historians believe predate the Mesopotamic era.
• A smell of ████████, Hiking, and Climbing that stings the nostrils.

Inhabitants

• "The Beast" - Some say this creature was born and raised in captivity, and thus didn't learn proper social queues as a young fledgling. The Beast can commonly be found flitting between their bedroom, their ████████, and the front door to collect ████████.

• "The Ready Meal Popper" - An inhabitant unique to The Clubhouse, their mating call can be heard emanating from the kitchen, a distinct sharp repeating sound, followed by a low frequency buzzing.

• "Karl" - No Data

• "The Minnesota Monster" - Mainly found sipping "Coffee" and eating bourbons creams, they are one of the two pillars of The Clubhouse's boardgaming sector. Alongside the next inhabitant, they spearhead the club's social operations, innovating new ways to ████████ and ████████.

• "The Commissioner of the ████████ ███████'s Office" - The second pillar of The Clubhouse's boardgaming sector.

• Ahmed Bashir McMahon - A homeless bum who comes and goes as they please. Due to their erratic work and sleep schedule, this creature appears in The Clubhouse intermittently usually in the middle of the night. A frequent enjoyer of ████████, ████████, large ████████, and ████████.

Activities

• Poker
• BBQ
• ████████
• Mini-Golf
• Boxing
• Boardgames
• Deliveroo Maxxing

Local Cuisine

• "Chicken and Eggs a la charcoal" - This recipe includes 1 chicken breast and 2 scrambled ████████. This dish must be prepared in the club house kitchen, and all windows and doors must be closed, and an extraction fan is prohibited. This dish must be made at 3AM with all other inhabitants asleep. Cook both Chicken and ████████ until they are nearly in flames , you will know when they are done when the fire alarm goes off. Dish is best served with a Corona Extra and disappointment from other inhabitants.

Incidents

• "The Sligo Trip" - On the night before ██████ █████ ███ when ████ ████ █████ ██████████ ████ █████. Would you believe ████ ██████ ██████ ███████████ █████ where he then ████████ ███████ █ ████████████████. Once on the road ████████ ████████ ██████ where ██ ████████. This ████████ ██████ ██ a warning ███ ██████ ███████. Eventually we calmed down after ████ ████ █████ ███ █████ ███. Climbing in ████████ ████████ was as good as remebered, back when I ██████ ██ ████ ████ and of course, ████████. Once this concluded ████████ ████ ████ █ ███████ and █ ███ ████. Mean while back at the club house ███ █████ ████████ ████████ extra █████ ██ █ ████████ in the mines. ███ █████ ████████ never again.